On Friday nights my roommate Tabitha and I - both white (this will be important later) usually head to a Tapas bar within walking distance from our apartment to unwind and talk about anything that isn't school work. Last night, we invited two of our friends to join us, Bongani and Patrick - both black. We were sitting at the table discussing films when Bongani asked us if we've heard of a new Hollywood-type film coming out about Thabo Mbeki (president of SA after Mandela). Bongani proceeds to tell us that he thinks the film looks pretty bad, etc. etc.
This woman sitting alone at the next table turns around and introduces herself to Bongani as Mac Maharaj's niece. Maharaj was a major figure in the anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa. I blogged about him in June because Prexy was taking his student group to meet him. He's kind of a big deal not only because he spent time in Robben Island prison with other freedom fighters, but he also smuggled Mandela's autobiography off of the island.
Back to the story... I'm thinking in my head, "this woman must know Bongani, or is hitting on him" , but it soon occurred to me that she was scolding him for talking "bad" about Mbeki to two white foreign girls (me and Tabitha , one foreign, one South African). What followed was a blur because once I realized what was happening, my heart started racing and my adrenaline surged (and you know how memory disappears with adrenaline). There were some words exchanged and she eventually got up and moved to another table.
This drunk woman who is a family member of someone that myself and many other South Africans deeply respect called one of my closest friends "disgusting" for sitting at a table with me. As it turned out, what she thought she heard us say about Mbeki was just her introductory remark - her core issue was with the fact that two white girls were sitting with two black guys in what appeared to be a double date. She took our conversation out of context to suit her anguish which was more fundamentally about her views on race relations.
To varying degrees, we're all racist, but someone who's willing to blatantly take it out on strangers suggests that not only does she have a lot of hate in her heart, but she probably also suffers from emotional trauma/issues.
Last night's incident was the last piece in a puzzle of racism I've been witness to since arriving here 9 months ago. I have heard every "group" in the country make racially charged verbal perpetrations against each other (white, black, colored, Indian, etc.). This sort of injustice is not specific to South Africa but is rife in any highly racialized society; the United States and Brazil come to mind. I try to remain sensitive to the histories of people here, that this woman and her family suffered under the rule of a racist white regime during apartheid. I try to understand where the sickness comes from while at the same time working to manage my own anger in the face of ongoing hate.
I'm not sure exactly what I wanted to say about this incident because I'm still having thoughts about it. Basically, no one is immune to racism and it's pathetic.
notice the make-up and sparkly Dawson's Creek tank top.
